A – Z of Happiness from the ramblings of a happy man – E

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Empathy

Why empathy?

Isn’t that outgoing, not incoming understanding?

It is a little known addition to a well known phrase, that people like to feel heard. How about you hear them, and then understand them.

Listen, ask questions, then attempt to understand why they feel as they do about what matters to them.

Why this is so special, it creates instant friends. I’m not that good a listener but my wife is top of the class at it. I do try though, I have a running battle in my head, “shut up, listen, understand and then ask a relevant question.”

You don’t have to agree with someone. But if you acknowledge or understand their feelings it will go a long way to creating trust.

There is too much #unkind out there.
Be a #bekind person, it’ll reward your soul and your life repeatedly.

Enjoy your day.
As ever, Simon

A – Z of Happiness from the ramblings of a happy man – D

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D – Decisions

It is a sad thing to say that many people make decisions without much thought of the real long-term ramifications on their OWN life.

I’m not saying I always make the correct decisions, but at least I put all decisions through a filter before I act, so that I at least minimise the risks linked with a bad decision being made in haste. Or to put it another way, I still make many appalling decisions, but they no longer create a major problem in my life.

So what is the filter process, (I pretend to hear you asking) here’s a starter, you can add as many as you wish to the list to create a great thought process for delivering better decisions continually into your life.

  1. How will this affect my wife? Will she happy with the results of me making this decision, and do I need to consult with her first before I decide?
  2. How will this decision affect my health?
  3. How will this decision affect my time commitments?
  4. Will this decision make me happier, or just better off, is the trade-off, worth it?
  5. Any effect on friends, family, work colleagues or other important people in my life?

You can add many more you feel relevant, like costs, debt, who you are associating with, and the effects on you of being associated with you.

Much of this is down to a personal view on your life. My life is based upon relationships, money comes a distant second, but I understand its value better than most who squander it on many things they barely want, yet alone need.

Example :-

I’ve just decided to help out LinkedIn again after being specifically asked by one of their staff. It means committing time regularly to assist others in getting their issues resolved on the LinkedIn Help Forum, I’m doing it for free, but doing it in the past has meant I met a load of friends that I still treasure.

So I hope that by reading this you formalize your decision-making process a little bit, and that it brings you the happiness that I’ve been the recipient of, for decades..

 

A – Z happiness from the ramblings of a happy man – C

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C – Clarity

Knowledge of yourself.

Be sure – be sure you want what you wish for, be aware life will throw changes you desire in your life. Changes in your focus – changes in your wants, needs, and desires.

You may be fooled to think you need more than you do, but want you want is not what you NEED. Need is about your soul, what does your sole desire?

Love, freedom, happiness and peace of mind is what after thorough inspection and retrospection I really desired.

Where are you headed now?
Are you really chasing your real happiness, or just a corporate recorded dream ?
Are you following the pack, are you truly following the path that is YOUR path?

Success is happiness – if you are not happy – are you really suiccessful ?

Ask yourself some searching questions.

Try it.

From today ! Be yourself, it is fun.

Good luck, as ever, Simon Hamer #happiness #happy

A – Z of happiness from the ramblings of a happy man

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B – Balance

Is your life in balance?

It is easy to spot when your life is not in balance, you rush around every day and always seem too short of time, and never truly feel that you are in control. Next, there are feelings of stress. Another sign is excessive road rage. Do you get to family events, do you see your kids, or your parents? What about friends, fun, hobbies and time for exercise, do you get what you consider the normal amount for your needs?

So what to do to correct it?

For a full month, log down at the end of the day on a pad, what you have spent your time doing and which bits you would like to remove or alter if you had the choice.

As you do the log, write any helpful suggestions immediately by them, if you come up with an idea to correct the situation. The suggestions, try a differing contrasting pen colour so it stands out when you look back later.

At the end of a month, do a full review and see what you can do to make your life more YOUR LIFE, and not just the life that you are living.

Think of your life as a wheel, the spokes all need to be the same length for the wheel to roll smoothly along the road of life. Which spokes need shortening (given less focus or less time) and which spokes need lengthening (given more focus or more thought and time).

Good luck, I’ll write the next one later in the week.

Happiness A – Z from the mind ramblings of a happy man

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A – Acceptance

Life is a wonderful gift, that is not always fully appreciated by those of us who are lucky enough to reside in a civilised country. Life still throws us challenges, but it is quite usual to allow these challenges to stop or reduce our feelings of happiness.

Acceptance of your life as it is, without the craving for more, less or change is the bedrock of the permanent state of happiness.

I’m saying that the more we can accept ot our present life as normal, the easier it is to feel happy. I understand that accepting problems, difficulties and stress in our lives is not simple, it is a task that requires mastery through daily efforts in the way we think about our lives. Hopefully, the B – Z will help you through mastering this process.

Enough for today, I’ll post B a little later this week.

Good luck, here’s to your future increased happiness.

Are we guilty of fixed ideology?

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Politics, religion, society, foreigners, colour, creed, county, race, gender, size and I’m sure you could add countless more, do we have to have a fixed view on our fellow man?

A couple of things to challenge your thoughts patterns.

I believe in God – but not religion.

I believe in being a miser – but I am a philanthropist.

What makes you challenge traditional media led thought patterns ?

Feel free to chip in.

The fun of being miserly

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I amuse myself with thoughts of how I can become more miserly in my personal spending decisions. It is a game I play each and every day.

I use obsolete business cards in free draws at networking events.
They still have my name on, and the host knows it is not my present occupation, but it saves wasting present cards.

I was waiting in a car park to meet a colleague, I collected the pen refills from the broken pens that had been stood on, to reuse them later.

Visits to refuel the car are always attempted to be made as part of a journey, rather than a journey in themselves.