How to create the ideal work life balance – post 2 – what is not needed ?

Listening to feedback on LinkedIn one of my friends stimulated a worthwhile topic.

When asked to do this that and the other for work, do we always consider the effects on our family?

When we commit to our children, do we always remember our commitments to our employer or business?

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Can we always succeed perfectly at both home and work, should we expect to fulfill all our commitments to both?

Is perfection needed – or should we just learn to accept that we should just do our best and be happy with the results?

So what is not needed?

One answer – perfection. Here’s a few tips on how to overcome being a perfectionist

Perfection is not needed, if we can see a way to get the balance right we can keep our jobs and have a fun family life.

Remember the five big f’s (fun, family, future, fitness and finance)

One of the feelings that trap us is the feeling of guilt that we put upon ourselves when we attempt to motivate ourselves to do the best, and strive for perfection. However, as my life has developed, and I have realized (not smugly) happily that I have a wonderful life, I’ve often asked myself why is my life this way? Truthfully, I’m lazy, I feel life, my time passing through me and many people just expend time without understanding that time is of real value. Everything else comes and goes, and can return, but time once spent goes forever. So learn to feel for that balance in your life, I cover time management in post 3. Is it more important to get a task done or look after your teeth … at 2.30 is your dentist appointment more important than just another task at home or work… find the balance.

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Next when you hear yourself think, “I’m not happy with that” … ask yourself “Why am I not happy with that, do I really need to alter the outcome?” A lot of times, we have just sprinkled unnecessary guilt upon a task or duty that need not be associated with it. Remember, that more time spent perfecting one thing is less time spent living your life doing another thing that you will also be sprinkling with guilt.

Often in life we react automatically to situations, we become desensitized to our own emotions. We become re-act-a-trons.

So when the boss asks you “Can you ….. ?”

Or when the family says “We need to …… “

Start applying that filter system to your thoughts so that you can decide what is right for your life before accepting an outside influence.

Remember, rushing around to everybody else’s beck and call will not necessarily bring you happiness, and most importantly it may not bring them happiness or their desired outcome either. Our job in life is to decide which actions are worth doing for both parties (ourselves and the other stakeholders in the action) be they our relatives, friends, colleagues, bosses, employers, employees or anyone else.

So … again … what is not needed ?

Another answer – Guilt – Guilt is not needed.

Rebekah talks of a “Trade Off” … what is meant by a trade off?

A trade off, is where you accept less than perfection on one thing to spend more of your efforts on another thing. Often there is a trade off between home life and work life. Have a look at time management (link further up in the post) and try to learn to say no, not now, or never to some things in your life. Consider delegating more, ask for more help in family tasks, find ways to reduce your load to enjoy your life.

So if you are considering accepting another piece of time consumption into your life, ask yourself, “will this cause a “trade off” ?”

If yes … this is your next question “should I, or am I willing to accept this use of my time? should I refuse ?”

Also try “Am I feeling guilty, and feeling emotionally blackmailed into doing this task?” then just keep asking yourself why, and whether you can alter this emotional view of this situation.

We all deserve a life that is fun, fulfilling, etc , but how often do we run through a process that in our heads allows us to make decisions that rush us towards real peace and happiness in our life.

We run our lives.

However, most people do not feel they control their lives.

If you feel the regret of the trade off, and the guilt of a lack of perfection then start to make changes to your decision making process, change how you think about work, home and the people in your life. Self awareness starts with a questioning mind. To be able to use your questioning ability, you will need to allow yourself the time. Will you ? Can you ? Why not … I took the time to write this because it mattered to a friend. I enjoyed it. I feel no guilt for spending 3 hours doing so, despite the fact our house needs many things, my life will be run by me. My priorities are clear to me … are you priorities clear to you? If not what is stopping you?

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Hope this helps, thank you Rebekah,

As ever, Simon

Empire Avenue, no longer enough reward for the time?

There used to be a great free tool from Dr. Dennis which was disabled due to difficulties with the API.

http://de.linkedin.com/in/davdittrich .. thanks Dennis.

Now we have the V suggestion … without any credit or consultation being given for the billionaires in Eaves that have given their efforts tirelessly on Empire Av for several years.

Recently missions are getting less and less take up.

Too much time needed.

Not enough return for my time.

I have removed my account.

Good luck to those that remain.

 

To Link or Not To Link, That is the Question

simonhamer:

thin threads that grew stronger – a recurring theme on networking on LinkedIn.

A lot of these connections were as a result of connecting with strangers who then became friends

 

In 2012, I had a lot of stalkers. I wonder how many will disappear now "answers" has gone

In 2012, I had a lot of  exposure. I wonder how much this will change now that LinkedIn have removed “answers” from LinkedIn.

 

Originally posted on Lynn Ricci:

I remember the early days of LinkedIn.  Immediately I loved the new social networking tool that allowed me to connect with present and former colleagues, although not many at that time had built profiles.  In the decade to follow, LinkedIn has become the defacto standard for professionals to connect, share, maintain contacts, and search for or post jobs.

At a recent event, I was speaking with a fellow IR practitioner who told me that their company does not allow IR to connect with people in the investment community.  The reasoning was that it would open up the door for potential bad behavior — hedge funds or portfolio managers getting a little too aggressive and checking the IR persons contacts for co-workers who they could then call for backdoor checks and additional insight into the business.

And, I also had coffee this week with a former colleague – starting to network…

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Social Disconnection: Choosing the Online Networks that Suit My Needs without Causing Excessive Distraction

simonhamer:

This is a fascinating journey into the stress that a lack of time can have on your social media usage. One thing that is clear from this poster is that it is well worth your while to have profiles on several different sites if you wish to network effectively online.
Why ?
Answer :- If you are only sites that they are not, then you cannot build a relationship online with them.
I have several trusted friends who are neither on Facebook or Google+, and more importantly have zero intention of ever joining those sites. They have told me…. repeatedly !

Originally posted on Dynamic Subspace:

The decision to disconnect from some social networking sites is what I call social disconnection. The commitments–time, social capital, and energy–of social media can take away from real life work and personal commitments. Furthermore, there are addictive qualities to some of these networks that require energy to resist and this can create other kinds of anxiety beyond your own use of these social networks. Social disconnection is about finding the networks that suit each of us best instead of connecting to the most popular or as many as possible.

Social disconnection for me is about finding the right balance and types of social networking to support my personal and professional relationships. My thoughts in this post concern my experiences and are in no way meant as a prescription for others to simply disconnect themselves from social media. I believe that we all have to find the networks where we feel…

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How a blog and a LinkedIn profile add up to a new job

simonhamer:

Interesting concept for creating visibility and securing a brand, suggest a WordPress blog if you decide to give this a try.

Originally posted on Content Rambler:

Are you out job hunting, or just wondering if you should be? Here are a few steps that can help you if you want either social media, writing, blogging, or content in any form to be part of your job:

First, start blogging

Blog to find a job that suits you

Finding a job that suits you.
HikingArtist.com via Flickr

Nearly 11 months ago I started this blog with the main aim to start writing because all I’d done was keep a diary about our son for over two years. By that time, I was ready to look for a new challenge.

After writing a couple of posts I started sharing them on Twitter. Then I went a bit crazy and got accounts for nearly everything I could hook up to my blog so I could automate sharing in different places. Blogging and writing are popular with my fellow bloggers on WordPress.com, but the best results in terms of sharing and replies…

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More thin threads that grew stronger – a developing networking story

Monday was a typical Monday.

A few calls on Skype and a bit of progress on the JV on my land, still in its infancy but looking good.

Tuesday.

Meeting with Erica at Il Rosso to give her some help with LinkedIn.

Erica’s a member of the Tuesday Club where I met her again, recently. Erica runs a VA service (Virtual Assistant service). She works with and supplies her services to both, Hewitt Card a well known local firm of accountants and a charity in Sheffield as a PA. Hewitt Card recently sponsored a Business Boost event in Mansfield, in which I was asked to speak. Also speaking were Graham Parker, Nicky Pattinson and Christine Tooze. So we are all intertwined and connected as a group of businesses.

Throughout the meeting with Erica, I realized she has many talents that she is not really exposing to the public and her potential clients. After about 4 hours we planned a way to expand her business and I look forward to helping her contact the people she needs to thrive.

Delighted to have spent the time with Erica.

So on to Wednesday.

In a similar groove, I met Carol Frankland through Anna Girstun at a networking event at Rushcliffe. Anna is another thin thread that grew stronger over the years. Anna runs an Aloe Vera business alongside her marketing business and I’ve tweaked the twitter marketing for her a little. The first time Carol and I met and I thought we could become great friends, so I have sought her out on several occasions to see her. I was reminded a few weeks ago it was time to ring her again when my business partners step son Sam Ruddock was pictured with Colin Jackson at the Queen’s Garden Party. I knew that Carol had been a producer for Colin Jackson in the recent past. Image

Thursday

Early start, off to the Charing Cross Hotel left home at 6.30 a.m., speaking on “How to Use LinkedIn” at 11.30 am. Invited to speak by Blue Ocean Consultancy who had found me through searches and then read my LinkedIn profile. Stayed for the presentation dinner and met a load more great people.

Friday

Off to The Brunts Academy for a budget meeting, for the coming year. Picked up a good contact for one of the governor’s at yesterdays event.

Then to see Mum p.m. and take her weekly shopping.

Saturday

A truly great friend is getting married, so it is back down the M1 to near Harrow, and to Enfield Golf Club to celebrate his marriage.

Sunday

Catch up online, make some great new connections.